Talking Too Much

She Said Evince Magazine September 2011

She Said

When I moved to Danville to be with you one of my concerns
was the fact that I would be moving to a place where I knew
no one and no one knew me. You had already established many
friendships since moving here and it concerned me that we
would be with your friends and I would be left alone.
You have done a fairly good job of introducing me to your
friends and when we are out and in the city and people come
up and talk you always introduce me(if you can remember
their names). I know we both get a lot of people coming up
to us and mentioning the column and some we know and others
we don't. The reason for all of this information is that you
seem to be worse when we go out about leaving
me and going from table to table to talk or shake someone's
hand. I am not a jealous person but standing around waiting
for you to leave a restaurant or a store can be pretty boring
after a while. The other night as we were leaving a restaurant
I was embarrassed, not only for me , but for the other two
couples that were with us. While you strolled through the
restaurant shaking hands, telling your wild tales, and looking
like you were running for office, I did not know how to
explain to our friends that this is a common occurrence and
I just usually wait for you to run your course. They did not
seem dismayed and sort of laughed it off as ,well this is just
Larry. All I am asking is that you be more considerate of me,
but more importantly, be considerate of our friends that we
are dining with. I hope you will take this as constructive
criticism instead of turning it around and making it about
me as you usually do.

He Said

You know what they say about the grass always looking greener
on the other side? Good, because this is nothing about that.
I guess in a round about way you are right. It was very
unthoughtful of me to do this with you or our friends. In
my defense, you married me for better or worse.
The argument could be made, was this the better or the worse.
For the better I was cementing my and or your relationships
with everyone that I spoke to. Many of our friends and
business people were in that restaurant that night and I
felt obligated and also wanted to speak to each and every
one. Once you have spoken to one person if you don't speak
to the others they might think I was avoiding them or was
upset with them for some reason. This is not to take away
from the fact that I genuinely wanted to speak to each and
every one of them and I also wanted to speak to the Chef
to let him know that we enjoyed our meal. For the worse end
of the deal, I did leave you to entertain our friends and
left them out on the sidewalk waiting to say goodbye and
that was not fair to you or to them and for that I apologize.
Hopefully they will read the column and see how sincere
and apologetic I am to do this in public. I guess I should
have been a politician instead of a guru of marketing in
our town. Maybe this will get me on the right track of
where my life should be going. I saw in the paper that
the city is looking for a dog catcher, although that is
probably not the politically correct name, maybe I
could apply for that opening...then I can be known as
the guru of pets. I would also be hated for picking up
wandering pets of our friends ,then no one would speak
to us in restaurants and we would have no friends and
people would boo us as we left the restaurant. Is this
really what you want?

The Art of Jealousy

She Said He Said Evince Magazine April 2010 –

She Said

By nature I am not a jealous person. Does not go

well with my personality. You being a Libra have

a very friendly attitude toward the female race.

In all fairness you are also very friendly with

other male friends also. What I am trying to

understand from the female prospective is men's

feelings about what they can do as compared in

theory to what is expected of a woman and what

can do. For example,we go into a grocery store,

clothing store or whatever and you speak to everyone

you know. Sometimes you even touch girls on the

arm while you are talking to them. This really

does not bother me because I know you are faithful,

I know you are a tactile person, and you like to

make people around you feel comfortable. That is

also the salesman in you so I am not really complaining.

Let us now walk into the hardware store, let me ask a

man which aisle is the paint to be found , and when

we leave the store I get from you, why didn't you ask

a female clerk, or why did you ask that guy? I ask

that guy because he was the first person I ran into

with an employee shirt on saying “I am George , I

work in this hardware store, ask me a question”.

It is just the difference between men and women.

I am sure there are flirty women in some stores ,

maybe even the hardware store, but I don't think

you are going to go looking for her. But if we do

talk to a women within five seconds you are

giggling like a two year old, smiling your largest

smile, and touching her somewhere just to be

friendly...and please don't get me started on

hugging.


He Said

Caught red handed. You are right as usual. There is

a double parallel or a double standard when it

comes to men and women. I have my own personal

theory if you would like to hear it. Number one

I do not mean to flirt. I am a touchy feely person,

but always in front of you. If I have ever gotten

too close to a stranger or someone in a store they

have never acknowledged it or neither have you. My

theory is this. Women are in control of everything

in their lives, their children's lives and their spouse's

lives. Men on the other hand are insecure, in need

of attention, and would like for everyone to like

them. When I am being friendly I am just being

friendly. I don't control what the women are thinking

or I don't have some alternative motive in my mind.

I can't convince the hardware clerk to go home

with me if she does not want to. You or women

in general can control the situation from your

prospective. If you like a man you can let it

be known. You can hint that you are single.

You can flirt with your eyes , or even

accidentially get too close to him by mistake.

Most men are looking for an opportunity, so even

the kindest act, smallest touch, gives a man an

inkling that you want him to take you home.

I am sure that the clerks that I talk to at

the hardware store does not want or need me

to take them home. Bedsides, when they see

you and I together ,holding hands, sitting

on the same side of the table in a restaurant,

I imagine they get the hint that you and I are

really together. Just so you know, I have not

met another woman in Danville that is as pretty

or as fun as you. Now New York on the other

hand.(lol)