EGO - centric

She Said

According to the dictionary, ego is defined as an
exaggerated sense of self-importance, conceit. I
seem to attract men who have more than their fair
share. (Not you, of course, honey). I came along
during a time when many females were taught to pump
up the male ego in order to build his self-confidence
and self-esteem. There were little tidbits of
support that were intended to be subliminal and
ultimately had a positive outcome.

For example, if my significant other nonchalantly
said to an acquaintance, "Let's do lunch", I made
sure he followed up with a phone call. Otherwise,
lunch would have been an empty invitation. Maybe
the answer to protecting the fragile male ego is
to keep quiet during a controversial conversation
and then act responsibly to solve the issue even
if it's at a later date.

Remember the phrase "behind every man stands a
good woman"? Where is the good man who is standing
behind the woman? Oh yes, now I remember...it's
Bill Clinton standing behind Hilary. But we all
know why he has to support her. So here's to your
ego, darling. You are The Man! You have more
charisma than any other male on the universe.
You are a wonderful provider, a top notch fix-it
man, master gardener, excellent chef, terrific
household organizer and most of all, you are my
very best friend.

He Said

Now I think that the whole wide world knows why
I married you. I think most of the world already
knew about my finer qualities, but I don't think
that it hurts for you to remind them occasionally.
I can truly say that this is one of those times
when you and I are in complete agreement.

You see, women do not have egos. Women are born
with beauty, grace, understanding, patience, and
charm (not you, of course, dear). Just kidding.
I do agree that women of distinction are the backbone
of many men. More than likely if the truth be known,
most women are the major reason for men's success.
Not many men would admit it because we are vain.
We think so highly of ourselves that we don't always
stop to think of the reason we reached the point
where we stand.

We don't give you girls enough credit for helping
us reach our highest goals. I am ready to give you
all the credit for making me a great provider, a
top notch fix-it man, a master gardener, an excellent
chef and a terrific organizer. I would like to give
you credit for making me cute, but I have to give
that to my mother and father. I would like to give
you credit for making me more spiritual, but I
have to give that to my church. I would like to
give you credit for making me smart, but I have
to give that to myself for reading and teaching
myself all that I have learned. I would like to
give you credit for making me a good parent, but
I have to give that to my parents from whom I
was taught. I will give you all the credit for
giving me such a high exaggerated sense of
self-importance though because without you beside me,
I would just be another drip in the droplets of
life. Thank you for making me the man I am
today.....your egocentric best friend.

Memories of Love

She Said

Because the color this month is red, red, red and there
are Valentines galore, I thought I would take a trip down
memory lane about the number of years we've known each
other since that road led to the altar on Christmas Eve.

We met when I was 16 and you were 17. We were both in
a new school in Greensboro and each of us had a significant
other. We graduated the next year and went our separate
ways until 13 years later, when we ran into each other
in a restaurant with our respective spouses and children.

You and I decided to take on the task of organizing a
reunion. We called everyone we knew to begin the process.

From that day on, the reunions took place every five
years and our two families would sometimes get together
in-between. For me, 1995, and for you, 1998, found
both of us single once again. We had our first date a
year after that and you got a real deal: two for the
price of one.

My two older children were in college but I had a
nine-year-old still with me. We tried long-distance
dating for over a year and then I decided to move to
Danville ...no obligations, I told you. Several
months later, you proposed.

Now, with my youngest son graduating from UVA on May 22
and getting married a week later, I'm feeling pangs of
an empty nest syndrome. My oldest son is getting married
October 8 and it seems like a mass exodus in my family.  

But wait...we have Sophie...so you still get to buy one,
get one free. She's no trouble at all...except last week
when she was fired by the groomer. They said she was
too active and after more than five years of grooming
her, they told me not to bring her back. I've been frantically
looking for the right person to take her on and last night
you told me that you found someone on facebook who volunteered
to tackle her. What if they do a background check? We're sunk!




He Said

The good thing is you didn't have to do a background check
on me because you grew up with me. One of the best things
about marrying your best friend is that there are no surprises.
In spite of knowing me so well, you still married me.
I think you summed up our life together pretty well. 
However, you left out the most important part of all: the
way we met, the words that were said, and the closeness we
felt as friends over the last 46 years.

You also forgot to mention, because you aren't vain, the
fact that you were voted the most beautiful girl in our
high school, that you thought I was in a gang, and
that you knew I had a reputation as being the class clown.
All of these facts meant that although we were in school
together, I had no shot at taking you out on a date. Yes,
we did have significant others at the time; however, if
we had been single, I still don't believe you would have
gone out with me. I only weighed 116 in school, was
not considered handsome, was not popular, did not run
in the right groups, smoked, was not on any sports team,
and was constantly being called to the office for some
infraction.

In high school I didn't even know the word infraction
much less how to spell it; but whatever it was, I kept
doing it. Thanks for being my guiding light. You also
forgot to mention that you tutored me my last year of
school to help me pass my English exam so I could graduate
with the rest of our class. You forgot to mention how
helpful you were to all the other classmates and how popular
you were in school. When we are congratulated for our
marriage, our classmates have replied: "way to go Larry for
marrying the most beautiful girl in high school" or
"condolences for Dena for marrying the biggest cut-up in school'.
Either way I consider myself to be the luckiest man on
the universe, and yes, I accept the fact that you come with
baggage.

I just never expected it to have four legs, bark constantly,
and be a creature that steals time with you from me. I guess
I should have done a background check on your obsession with
dogs. No matter though, I still would have married you.

I love you and Happy Valentine's Day.