The Art of Arguing

She Said He Said


She Said

Let's talk about the art of arguing. No, that's not
an oxymoron like the former Elon College athletes:
the Fighting Christians. There is an art to arguing
or disagreeing. The first rule is to stick to the
problem at hand. You always dig into the deepest
recesses of your mind to conjure up conflicts we
had ten years ago which are hardly relevant to the
problem at hand. You complain constantly about all
of the projects that I like to do and at the same
time you'll chide me about how I'm turning into my 
mother because she didn't like to cook, clean, or
do laundry. You've never heard me complain about
those chores; what I complain about is that you
won't give me time to do them. You'll tell me how
much I spoil my kids and in the same breath, you'll
complain about having to drive both ways to
Greensboro to visit your family. Duh?! Stick to
the subject. Let's finish talking about my kids
first and then move on to something else. If you
want to complain about the fact that I have school
work or housework to do instead of sitting on the
sofa holding hands, then let's hear it. But in the
middle of the sentence, you'll casually throw in
"and by the way, why did you let your son park in
the driveway knowing you would have to move his car
in the morning and if I park there at the wrong time,
you fuss at me. Why don't you ever fuss at him...?
Why can't you treat me the same way you treat him?"
Do you see how you go off on a tangent and veer
from the subject at hand? There is no need to bring
up past grievances. Speak your peace and move on.
I'm a big girl and I can take it. Besides, the
shorter our arguments are, the quicker we can
get to kissing and making up.



He Said

I believe I counted ten different subjects in
your ranting....Arguing, Elon College, ten year
old conflicts, projects, your mother, chores,
spoiling kids, driving to Greensboro, my mother,
fussing at your kids.
Where does a man even begin? First of all , I
never even knew we argued or fussed. I view frank
discussions about all subjects fair game and just
opinions. Sometimes we agree and sometimes we
disagree. Children have never been a problem
for me. Your double standards on the other hand has
been subject for discussion a couple of times. I
only suggest that everyone in the house be treated the
same. All rules should apply equally. Since all
your children are grown, I assume that house rules
apply to everyone, not just for three year olds.
If I use a case history from yesterday or ten years
ago it is not to bring up an old subject, but to apply
that situation with a current situation since the
former situation was resolved. This might just be
the old “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus”
argument all over again. I have never complained
about projects or housework, and I certainly have
never compared you with your mother. That would be
grounds for dismissal I am sure. I think most of
the time I am saying one thing and you are hearing
something else.
As a matter of fact, I would not be surprised that
after reading my answer, your assumption would be
after reading this, that I was talking about Rocket
Science, not relationships. Not changing the subject
but could we get back to that kissing and making up thing.

Just exactly what all would that involve?

March....or Something Like It.

She Said He Said March 2009 By Dena Hill and Larry Oldham

She Said

I have a love/hate relationship with the month of March. It is true
that the March winds bring in the springtime. I love that part of the
month. The part of the month that I hate is the time of the month
that I am forced to tell you my monthly plans. March always is the
time of year that I start making out my list of springtime chores that
I want to accomplish. The weather is usually getting warmer, the
trees are getting ready to bloom and it is time to start planning
my gardening, painting, and in general getting ready to get
the house fixed up for summer and all that that entails. The
hate part is the dread of sharing all of this with you. You
always start whining about the “honey do list, why do you
have to help do all these things “, you ask.
This year I am not even going to tell you what I am going
to do, I am not going to ask you to help me, and I have
thrown the “honey do”jar away. So you can relax this year,
I will take care of all the springtime work, and you just
rest up for the coming summer months deciding on
where we vacation, what movies we will see, where we will
eat, who will drive, when we must visit your mother, what
to wear, what book to read next,should you pay someone to
cut your grass, you know all the important decisions
in your life.

He Said

I really don't think you understand how hard I work,
and all the decisions that are important that have
to made in my daily routine. Yes, March is a hard month,
but so was January when you couldn't decide which tile
to lay down on your bathroom floor, or November when
you had to paint the ceiling in the living room, or
September when you had to move the furniture around all
over the house. I mean, look, I know the house is
important to you, and it means a lot to me that
everything is always clean , and the house is always
spotless. I don't want to sound like a male
chauvinist pig, but all that women's need that you
have ,can be taken care of ,as I told my ex-wife, with
a phone call to a cleaning service.
I don't understand the need to clean every spring, mess
it up every fall, and clean it again next spring. All
this cleaning talk is really giving me a headache. Why
don't we just skip this March madness of cleaning,
go get some ice cream, sit on the porch, or go cook
out some steaks.
If we don't invite the neighbors over this year, and we
avoid all our friends , so they won't visit us, who is
going to see the house , dirty or clean , except us.....
and maybe the dog. Have you ever heard the dog complain.
No,I didn't think so. We can all be happy if we work
together on this thing, re-evaluate our priorities, and
learn to live together in harmony. A few germs might help
build up our immune system and help us live longer. On
the other hand we could clean, which could give
us a heart attack, might give us a stroke, or could
affect our immune system by being germ and dirt free,
which could expose us to all kinds of health problems.

I rest my case.