Surprise, Surprise!!

She Said
 
Surprise! Surprise! Isn't it terrific when someone

thinks enough of you to plan a surprise party or

just a surprise event? No, no, no. I had never met

anyone who didn't like surprises until we moved

from friendship to a couple. I considered it a

thoughtful, caring sequence of events to call your

friends, family, etc., plan a party, and let you

unknowingly walk in on it. Now I realize that the

only person having fun was me. Why is this? You've

said that you hate surprises and you want to know

everything that involves you BEFORE it happens.

You like to be prepared for whatever... The element

of surprise on a persons' face is interesting

to watch but on your face, it's more like pain.

I'm sure there are other people who feel the way

you do so please enlighten me. My family all live

miles away and we're always surprising each other

with an unexpected visit. For my 40th birthday,

it was kind of neat to have my office all decorated

in black when I opened the door that morning.

Comments continued throughout the day as well as

good wishes. You don't even want surprise presents

for Christmas or birthdays and that takes all the

fun out of shopping. I may as well write a check

and hand it to you. When two people know each other

as well as we do, I should be able to surprise you

with something you'll really like but you want to

choose gifts for yourself. Maybe I should stick to

basics that you don't like to buy for yourself like

socks or T-shirts. Boring! How about a compromise???

You can humor me by ACTING surprised and then return

it for something you've had your eye on. After all,

life is a game and the object is to make the

players happy.


He Said

Surprise, surprise , are you happy? What I read in

your ever going endeavor to make me into

the perfect man does not surprise me. I am just

surprised that it has taken you this long to

admonish me on my ability to not act surprised.

Do you know how many people in the world fake being

surprised when the occasion calls for it. Aren't

you surprised that the one man you chose to date and

someday marry does not want to fit into the same

mold as every other man. Does it surprise you that

I have taken the liberty of sharing with you that

I want lie or pretend to be surprised when I am not?

It should not come as any surprise that I have

told you up front, I am a man that does not like

to be surprised. But darling, it still grates on

your last nerve that I just will not feign surprise,

or enjoy the ritual of surprise, or will even lie

to you and act surprised. Yes I could let you buy

me a bow tie, not wear it, and then sneak it back

to the store after purchasing an item that I really

wanted, and surprise you with my new gift that I

honestly wanted all the while. Does this surprise

you? I am honestly surprised after all our years

together that you can still find fault with my

need to be told what I am getting as a present,

when getting what I ask for has always made me happy...

after all isn't life just a game with the object

being to make the other person happy? I bet you

were surprised to see that phrase used again?

I know it surprised me.

The Other Woman

She Said

After ten years of being together you know I am not the
jealous type. I have never accused you of any wrong doing
and I don't question you about your travels, phone calls,
lunch dates, or even your flirtatious manner. I accept you
just the way you are. Now all of a sudden, SHE comes into
your life.
Don't give me that “What did I do kind of stare”. You
know what I am talking about. The first thing you do when
you come in the house is turn on the computer. You never
used to do that. The last thing you do before you leave,
is look on the computer. What use to take you five or ten
minutes, now takes you one or two hours. I've kept my cool;
I haven't asked you questions. I haven't sneaked up behind
you to see what you were doing ( O.K., maybe one time).
It hasn't really bothered me until now because more and
more of your time is being spent on that computer.
I hear stories about people going on chat lines and
meeting people on line. I have never suspected you
of doing either one of those things. I have never blamed
you or even ask you about what you do on the computer.
But after six months of wondering and debating whether to
ask you about it, you wrote about it in Showcase Magazine
last month. That's right . I am talking about your new love.
The person with whom you want to spend every waking minute.
The one person who fits your needs to a tee and doesn't
talk back, except for a whimsical answer to a rhetorical
question, usually delivered in some cute fashion.

That's right I am talking about your new found friend....Facebook.

Well, she can't fulfill every need. You need to remember
that late at night.

You better start becoming one of my fans...real soon.


He Said

Jealousy. She is a cruel mistress for man or woman. I hate
to get all philosophical on you or even try to defend my
efforts to justify some validity to my life and what I do.
But I am going to try because that is what men do. Many
months ago someone ask me to join FACEBOOK. After I did,
I showed it to you and you asked me why it was necessary.
I told you it was a social networking place
for people to meet and rekindle old friendships.
Your comment to me at that time was " looks like a place to
meet girls to me".
At that very moment, I came off of Facebook for you.
After reading more and more about it and being invited to
rejoin as a social event,
I signed on. A few months later (and not meeting any girls),
I asked you to join. You agreed to give it a try as soon
as school was out.
I showed you what it was all about and pointed out
articles about the positive aspects of Facebook. Many of
your friends had already invited you to join. You have
seen people and reconnected with many old friends and
although you don't participate often you still seem
to check out your Facebook page almost daily. I think
you see the validity in joining such a social networking
class and hopefully you will continue to connect with former
classmates and friends.
Oh yeah, and you might just get to make some new male friends.
Uh oh, I feel that Jealousy mistress creeping back in.
See you on Facebook and I remain your biggest fan.(at least weight wise.)