Marriage and the Art of Backing Up -January 2012

She Said

It's a brand new year and a time to look forward to all
of the wonderful possibilities life has to offer; but I
want to take a brief look backward, literally.
At least that's what the highway patrolman told me when
I was sixteen years old and taking my driving road test.
I didn't see anywhere in the manual where there was a specific
time that a driver HAD to look backward when the car was moving
in reverse. I've learned since then that it's any time the car
is backing up. He had the audacity to tell me that I turned
around before I stopped the car completely. Of course I did,
my neck was tired.
And then as we traveled further down the road, there happened
to be a railroad crossing. I heard the train and I saw the track
but it didn't really click in my mind that I should stop until
the last minute.
Fortunately, I managed to come to a smooth stop without slamming
on brakes and ejecting my very important passenger. With his hand
on the door handle, he said "Whew! I didn't think you saw the sign
or heard the train coming". I assured him that I was in control.
When a very nervous blue uniformed guardian of the people got back
to the highway patrol station, he solemnly handed me my license
but also told me that he hoped my parents wouldn't let me drive.
I've always believed that people learn a lot during a testing
situation and I never forgot those two traffic rules. Now, here
is one of those rare times when I have to pay you a huge
compliment...I'm always impressed when I see you back a car,
truck, or bus in reverse. (Except, when you backed a U-Haul
truck into the corner of my house) You don't turn around;
you're adept at using mirrors and do it perfectly. You never
turn around when you're backing out of the driveway or a parking
space.I guess that comes with such rigid training for driving
a school bus when you were 16 years old.
I can tell you right now that the state of Virginia would
probably pay me NOT to drive a bus because when I turn around
and see 50 pairs of eyes staring frantically at me when I'm
trying to back up, I might just park that yellow monster and
walk the students home.





He Said

Thank you for the compliment and you're right... I have never
had a problem backing up. I can't say that about moving forward
though when it comes to driving. The day I turned sixteen and
got my license I went to see a friend so that we could go for
a ride in my parents' car. He wasn't at home and I had pulled
in his driveway. So as I backed out, I hit the car parked across
the street at his neighbors house. I proceeded to leave the
scene of the crime and drive back home. There was no damage,
thankfully, but I had learned lesson. Yes, I had my drivers
license but that didn't make me a good driver. Sort of like
marriage, I guess. You have a marriage license but that doesn't
mean you know how to have a good marriage.
So as you reflect back about your driving skills or lack of
knowledge about how to back up, I will reflect on our first year
of marriage and how it has flown by. Both of your sons were
married, one in Chapel Hill and one in Charlotte. Thank God
for your daughter's help or we would never had made it through
their weddings and definitely not through our own.
You even survived your youngest sons' commissioning in the Navy
without too many tears.
We got though the year after hitting a deer on the highway late at
night and being stranded while waiting for a tow truck. We got
through Halloween for the first time in thirteen years of not
giving out candy because we were out of town.We got through the
year without gaining too much weight. So all in all we both moved
forward without backing up and we made it through our first year
of marriage.
Amazingly we are still married and even though we don't
have a monster yellow bus, we do have two cars that prevent us
from having to walk, even though one of them still has deer
tracks on it.

Happy New Year Darling.

Open Mouth - Insert Foot

She Said

For someone who hates exercise, you sure don't

mind walking around in your mouth. Just yesterday

I started getting these messages on my email and

now on my facebook page about what you have written

so I thought I'd check it out. I know you like

to use philosophical sayings that you steal from

someone else ( sorry...you do give credit sometimes)

or from some book you found at a yard sale. Most of

the time they are cutesy, and I don't remember any

of them having any meaning.

Now all of a sudden you have come up with a saying

about marriage and you have led our friends into

believing that you are against such a fine institution.

I don't know of any person on this earth who loves

marriage more than you do and if this wasn't

true, why would you keep getting married over and

over again? Back to your statement. When I read

the posting, the first thought I had was negative.

I immediately thought "how dare him say such a thing

about me!?" As I said that was my first thought.

My second thought of course was .."What an idiot!".

I thought you were just showing a seamy side of you.

(Note: I said seamy NOT McDreamy) But I know you.

I know how much you love marriage. I know how much

you love, love. I know that you wouldn't make such

a statement and mean it because when you got home...

there I would be. Not that you have to answer to me;

however, if I confronted you and you didn't have a

reasonable explanation, it would be...”.Lucy you've

got some 'splainin to do”. So I am just going to

let it go this time because I know how playful you

can be and I know without a shadow of a doubt that

you didn't mean...” a wedding ring is the smallest

handcuff in the world” to be about us. I'm sure

it's about some other couple you felt sorry for

and were just trying to make them feel better.

You WERE trying to make someone else feel better...right?





He Said



To be perfectly honest with you, I never gave a thought

about us when I wrote that little saying.

I just thought it was funny and that all my friends

would be laughing. A couple of things happened after

I wrote this.

A...My friends didn't read it, yours did.

B. None of your friends thought it was funny.

They started emailing and face booking you about

what a slug I was. As you know I would never hurt you

intentionally and I really thought you would never

see it anyway so what the heck.

Now I see that most of your friends and a lot of

my friends think I am a selfish, one sided, don't

care anything at all about marriage type of guy.

As my friends all say ...marriage is a fine institution

if you're ready for an institution. You can see I

was careful to give my friends the credit for such a

slanderous statement. I love marriage. Some of my

best friends are married. There are probably a

couple of them who think that their wedding ring

is a handcuff. Not me. I think it is a strong sign of

true love between two people who are proud to show

the world how much they love each other by agreeing

to wear a chain, I mean a cross, I mean a wedding

ring as proof of their feelings for one another.

Hopefully some day you and I will be able to show

the world how much we really care about each other

by wearing a ring cuff, I mean a wedding ring.