Marriage and the Art of Backing Up -January 2012

She Said

It's a brand new year and a time to look forward to all
of the wonderful possibilities life has to offer; but I
want to take a brief look backward, literally.
At least that's what the highway patrolman told me when
I was sixteen years old and taking my driving road test.
I didn't see anywhere in the manual where there was a specific
time that a driver HAD to look backward when the car was moving
in reverse. I've learned since then that it's any time the car
is backing up. He had the audacity to tell me that I turned
around before I stopped the car completely. Of course I did,
my neck was tired.
And then as we traveled further down the road, there happened
to be a railroad crossing. I heard the train and I saw the track
but it didn't really click in my mind that I should stop until
the last minute.
Fortunately, I managed to come to a smooth stop without slamming
on brakes and ejecting my very important passenger. With his hand
on the door handle, he said "Whew! I didn't think you saw the sign
or heard the train coming". I assured him that I was in control.
When a very nervous blue uniformed guardian of the people got back
to the highway patrol station, he solemnly handed me my license
but also told me that he hoped my parents wouldn't let me drive.
I've always believed that people learn a lot during a testing
situation and I never forgot those two traffic rules. Now, here
is one of those rare times when I have to pay you a huge
compliment...I'm always impressed when I see you back a car,
truck, or bus in reverse. (Except, when you backed a U-Haul
truck into the corner of my house) You don't turn around;
you're adept at using mirrors and do it perfectly. You never
turn around when you're backing out of the driveway or a parking
space.I guess that comes with such rigid training for driving
a school bus when you were 16 years old.
I can tell you right now that the state of Virginia would
probably pay me NOT to drive a bus because when I turn around
and see 50 pairs of eyes staring frantically at me when I'm
trying to back up, I might just park that yellow monster and
walk the students home.





He Said

Thank you for the compliment and you're right... I have never
had a problem backing up. I can't say that about moving forward
though when it comes to driving. The day I turned sixteen and
got my license I went to see a friend so that we could go for
a ride in my parents' car. He wasn't at home and I had pulled
in his driveway. So as I backed out, I hit the car parked across
the street at his neighbors house. I proceeded to leave the
scene of the crime and drive back home. There was no damage,
thankfully, but I had learned lesson. Yes, I had my drivers
license but that didn't make me a good driver. Sort of like
marriage, I guess. You have a marriage license but that doesn't
mean you know how to have a good marriage.
So as you reflect back about your driving skills or lack of
knowledge about how to back up, I will reflect on our first year
of marriage and how it has flown by. Both of your sons were
married, one in Chapel Hill and one in Charlotte. Thank God
for your daughter's help or we would never had made it through
their weddings and definitely not through our own.
You even survived your youngest sons' commissioning in the Navy
without too many tears.
We got though the year after hitting a deer on the highway late at
night and being stranded while waiting for a tow truck. We got
through Halloween for the first time in thirteen years of not
giving out candy because we were out of town.We got through the
year without gaining too much weight. So all in all we both moved
forward without backing up and we made it through our first year
of marriage.
Amazingly we are still married and even though we don't
have a monster yellow bus, we do have two cars that prevent us
from having to walk, even though one of them still has deer
tracks on it.

Happy New Year Darling.

Christmas Forgiveness - December 2011

She Said He Said December Evince Magazine.2011 Christmas Forgiveness

She Said

December is here and the house is filled with laughter, Christmas
music, a beautiful tree, and decorations both inside and outside.
I would like to say that there was joy in putting all of this
together and that we shared those special moments of bliss. I
would like to say that, but I can't. The priority scale in your
life and the priority scale in my life are miles apart. I mean
I love you and all that mushy stuff, but what does it take to
get a man to help around the house? Who said it was the woman's
responsibility to keep the house in order or, in this case, do
all of the decorating? I don't have the space here to name all
of the things that I do and all of the things that you don't do.
Is this just a man thing? I would think that at Christmas time
you would want to put forth a little extra effort to impress me
so that just maybe you would find a little something extra under
the tree.
When I couldn't get a string of lights to work, I changed the
fuses while you drank egg nog and ate cookies. When I connected
the "runway" in the front yard, instead of you helping me with
all of the lights, your back conveniently ached. When I began
wrapping gifts for your family,all I saw of you was your backside
running out the door. I am not asking you to prepare a meal
or make the bed, but I've told you before that picking up your
socks won't give you a hernia. Once when I asked you to empty the
garbage, you said you didn't know it was garbage day. Here's a news
flash: garbage pickup is on Thursdays...EVERY Thursday not just
once a year. An added note: if you'll be a good little boy, you
might just find a little something special under the tree this
year...that you onceagain did not help decorate.

He Said

Christmas is a time for forgiveness. We should all learn to love
one another, especially at this time of year. We should work harder
to please each other because we are in love. You and I, still being
on our honeymoon, should work harder to make each other happy. For
this reason I'm going to forgive you for being so negative during
the holidays. This is a time of reflection about all of the good
in our lives, and how we should be helping others less fortunate.
This is a time to look upon each other as soul mates and true friends
forevermore. Why you want to dwell on the negative aspects of life
and bring all of us down into this dreary pit escapes me at this moment.
You don't hear me picking on all your bad traits. I am trying to bring
harmony and peace into the home. You are trying to bring fireworks
and the idea that I would stoop so low as to try an earn your love and
affection with fake cleaning, and pretending to put decorations on the
tree, or scooping up the garbage cans to prove some type of point.
Why would I want to win favors with you only to get presents? That
just isn't me. I will continue to live my life making you happy and
filling your days with pleasure all year long. I want you to know that
I forgive you for trying to make me feel bad, especially during this
holiday season. I hope everyone out there has seen the follies of your
suggestions and will disregard and forgive you of your shortcomings.
I want you to know that I willbuy you a present this year without any
strings attached, because that's just the kind of man I am.

Merry Christmas to you darling, I forgive you.