All I want for Christmas is......

She Said
We should all learn a lesson from your youngest son, Seth.
He is a master at "rolling with the punches". If we ask him
what he wants for dinner, he says it doesn't matter. If we
ask him what he wants for Christmas, he says he hasn't
really thought about it. If we ask him to come and visit,
he will come if he can. And get this: if we ask him if
he needs money, he says he has enough. Are you sure he's
your son? When I ask you what you want for Christmas,
you smile and say "everything". You start thinking about
Christmas in September so your list of suggestions is
complete around Labor Day. The real Labor Day is finding
all of the impossible trinkets you've asked for. It doesn't
help that stores start putting out Christmas decorations
and playing Christmas music earlier and earlier each year
so that by the time December gets here, it's old news. I
think Thanksgiving should be the first Thursday in November
instead of the third, so we can enjoy more time between
holidays. Why not prolong Christmastime so it will give
you longer to whine about why you're not always getting
your way? Unlike Seth, If I ask what you want for dinner,
you give "picky" a whole new vocabulary. Food is either
too hot, too cold, not seasoned enough, burned, or simply
not what you were in the mood for. And my favorite response
is "Didn't I just see this yesterday?" It took me a while
to realize that you're serious about never eating leftovers.
Leftovers are a godsend when I come home from work at
7:00 pm and you're waiting for dinner. I have a great
idea...just for the month of December, how about you doing
all of the meal planning, shopping, cooking, dishwashing,
laundry, etc., and I'll assume your pose in the recliner
reading, relaxing, or snapping my fingers for something
to eat and drink. If you don't like doing it for one month,
we could always make it a New Years Resolution that will
last for a whole year.

He Said
I will admit that my son Seth is not the proverbial chip
off the old block. I personally feel like Christmas should
be everyday in the year for me. I usually get what I want
all year long except maybe for dinner. I do like odd things
and probably don't fit in the everyday list of whatever
"normal" is. I am picky about my food because I like what
I like. I do enjoy getting my way and I go into my man cave
sometimes when I don't. I do not like leftovers but I can't
ever remember not offering to take you out to dinner whether
you are early from school or late from school. I would
never ask you to make dinnner for me unless I am sick or
you are cooking for yourself anyway. Now about those Christmas
presents. Did I give you my list yet? I thought I gave it to
you in July. This plan of yours about me doing all of the work
in a given month or year, is one we may have to discuss. I
will do the same for you that I did for my ex-wife and just
hire a maid. Of course, when she arrived at the door, my wife
wouldn't let her in because the house was too dirty. It's the
same with yard work. I will hire a yard man and then both of
us can sit on the porch, sip tea, hold hands, and point him
in the right direction when he misses a spot. Anyway, New
Years is a long way off and I'm still trying to digest the
notion that I'm hard to please at Christmas. Just go to
Sounds Unlimited and tell them Larry sent you. They can
certainly please me for Christmas choices but will probably
be at a loss as to what to make me for dinner.
Merry Christmas, Darling.