Mr Speeder (not Mr. Speedo)

She Said He Said Evince Oct. 2011

She Said

You come home from work looking all dejected, sad eyed,
and looking like you lost your best friend.
I figured you got fired or someone had upset your
fragile ego.(haha). When I ask what was wrong you
proceeded to tell me that you had gotten a speeding
ticket. I do not want to be the one that says to you
that I told you so, but I really could have said those
words right then. I know that as a man, as all men do,
you feel that your ability to drive and drive well
exceeds the hopes of most people in the world,
especially women. How many times have I told you to
slow down or there is a policeman, you better be
careful. Many times on the highway your excuse is
well everyone around me is speeding so why shouldn't I?
Why can't you be more like your father when he was
driving. He always did fifty five on the highway and
thirty five in town. To my knowledge your father or
your mother never got a speeding ticket so why should
you? We do not get there any faster when you pass a
car, speed ahead , only to get behind someone who
is doing the speed limit and you are forced to slow
down to the speed limit because of them. Maybe this
ticket that you have to pay for one hundred and sixty
two dollars will finally slow you down. I can tell
you that ticket cost is not in our budget this month,
and you are not going to take the money out of my
food money, so you better get out the old lawnmower
and start mowing the neighbors grass to pick up a
few coins to pay your speeding ticket.

He Said

I am not going to say that I was caught in a speed
trap, but even the nice officer said the speed limit
use to be thirty five , but had been changed to twenty
five recently. I was doing thirty eight according to
him in a twenty five mile an hour zone. If you take
into account that it use to be thirty five , then I
was only three miles over the speed limit. Either way
I was speeding, I accept that fact, and my fate is
that I must pay the speeding ticket. I can take that
because I believe in standing up for what is proper
and right. I was speeding , I admit it but don't you
think I should have been cut some slack because I
thought it was a thirty five MPH zone? You probably
don't and neither did the nice policeman. I did not
offer him a bribe , I just ask how long it had been
since they changed it. He did not answer but he did
tell me he was there to capture felons like myself
that were a nuisance to the neighborhood. I ask him
if he was sure it was me because there were other
cars on the road , and he told me radar doesn't lie.
I said does it ever make a mistake and he put his
hands on his handcuffs and I instantly shut-up. I
think getting the ticket in reality was a good thing
for two reasons. The first and main one is that it
has made me more aware of the speed limit signs on
every street and made me slow down. The other reason
is that it showed me that once and a while you can
be right. For that reason I was wondering if we might
have some discussion about my getting a loan from the
food jar money?