The Laws of Driving

October 2010

She Said

It's an unwritten law that you're suppose to do most
of the driving. It's my job to sit on the passengers
side and keep you company. I can file my nails, read
a magazine, point out interesting sites along the way,
and talk when I can get a word in edgewise. Recently,
when we went to Pennsylvania to visit my aunt, it
dawned on me that you have a problem telling time
and measuring distance. For some unknown reason, I
was behind the wheel for the first leg of our journey.
We got to Lynchburg and you had to find a bank...
not just any bank...First Citizens. We found out
there are only two of them in the whole city after
driving around for an hour. Then you wanted a snack.
(We had just eaten breakfast in Danville). Then
we drove another forty minutes and you were ready
for lunch. IT WAS ONLY 11:30! I guess you thought
if we eat early, we can get in at least two more
meals before we get to Seneca. Our motto should
be "Eat to live" not "Live to eat". By now it's 1:30
and we've barely made a dent in a 9 1/2 hour drive.
But here's the real kicker: we were leaving the
restaurant after lunch and we literally raced to
the passengers side whereas you exclaimed "It's
your turn to drive. We left at 8:00 and it's 1:30.
I've been driving for 5 1/2 hours!" It didn't
matter that we were only in Harrisonburg. So you
see, if you'd follow the rules of "man drives,
woman rides" we wouldn't have this problem.


He Said

I have never heard of the unwritten law so this must
be something that exists in Women's World. I can
share with you that your addition does not line up
with your story so let us begin there. It is at the
most an hour and fifteen to Lynchburg. Let's give
you the sixty minutes you said it took us to find
the bank. Then we drove another forty minutes till
we ate lunch. At this point we should be somewhere
at about two hours and fifty five minutes by my
calculations. Since we left at eight by your own words,
and have been on the road for two hours and
fifty minutes, this would mean that we ate for two
and a half hours to put us to the one thirty mark.
Now you know that we both agree we did not eat for
two and a half hours. So what does the unwritten law
say about exaggeration ? It is ok though, because I
am a nice guy I am going to give you those five and
one half hours of driving time. After all , I think
you have earned it with your discourse. Since we got
there at about eight thirty P.M., if you will add
from one thirty to eight thirty, I think you will see
that I drove about seven hours. Let's leave this alone
for a few minutes and discuss the real problem with our
trip. Why is it that a woman expects to be chauffeured
around for ten hours, taken out to dinner and have her
meals paid for, have the door opened for her, made
to feel like a woman, on one hand? The next thing I
hear is equal rights,fairness for women, equality in
our daily life, except maybe taking turns driving on
an extended trip. Maybe it is another one of those
unwritten laws about fairness because you don't want
to take your turn driving on vacation. I have got
to be going now.
Driving alone. Off to check on those unwritten laws
and hoping I can find the section on manhood or the
rule about men driving, and women riding. Two and a
half hours for lunch, don't I wish.